It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
