do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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