the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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