i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
