Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize