What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Randomize
