It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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