Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
