she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
