i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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