did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
