so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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