it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
These tits shall not be calmed
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