i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
