it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
