dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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