Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize