no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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