Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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