3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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