There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
her vagine was all disorganized.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
