she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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