playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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