If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
