I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
