Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wish you could order shots online.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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