he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
