do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
