My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
