I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
