My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
