I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
