This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I want to fling myself into the sun
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
