Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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