Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just had sex on a roof
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
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