I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
