"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
