Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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