with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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