using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
