I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
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