Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
