Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
