She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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