I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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