Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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