Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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