There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
she told me i tasted like america
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
