In the future we'll all be gay
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
