Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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