We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
