i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
