Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
