nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
