Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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