There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You ruined the universe
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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