idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Randomize
