Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so let's talk penis.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
