Got a toothbrush?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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