Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
